Jersh: I just defecated a serpentine aberration to humanity, of which had such ponderous and unimaginable girth and length to remove me of my anal virginity. I felt and still feel violated. 
Jersh: Its diameter was that of my wrist and its length to where the hull of the vessel was required to bend along the circumference of the bowl, and which its two tips met in unholy matrimony. God damn that is the largest single, contiguous shit i have ever taken.
Jersh: really though my asshole hurts